Creating Meaning

Having just crossed over the 67 year mark, I'm thinking about things a little differently than in my earlier, more energetic years. This podcast was timely, and is recommended, if for no other reason than to help understand what I'm going to write about here.....

https://youtu.be/R4dZgcHnw-A

I have spent a lot of time in my life knitting and crocheting, and designing thereof, most of the time loving it, but at the same time realizing that it takes a different toll on a body than loading logs on a wood cart, and shoveling out the barn. At 67, with MS, there are days when it indeed feels best to sit in my chair in front of Netflix, project in hand, not aiming to break any kind of fitness record. I do miss my muscles. With neurological difficulties adding up, I think it's finally time to stop fighting the battle to stay productive, and instead, fight the battle to take care of me, and let the world's need for knit and crochet patterns go on a hiatus. The universe, who has its own way of deciding things, handed me the gift of falling the other day as I was photographing a heavy afghan. I'm a good faller; I did not get hurt, though I did look around the yard to see if anyone had seen me fall on my ass. No one did-lucky me!- and I picked myself up and went back in the cooler house, anticipating the purple bruise on my behind. These days, purple is no longer my favorite color ...

And, let's be honest....my inner two year old has been on the floor screaming untended for far too long!

That podcast, above, has made me think about carrots, the ones that get me up in the morning, the ones that encourage me to do the next thing, the need to actually figure out what the next thing is.
I'm not going to announce that I'm going to stop designing, as I don't think that's possible, but I am going to stop producing patterns even as frequently as I have been doing. I need to write, and rest, and think about things. I need to exercise, and take random photographs when I can, cook for myself and my family in experimental ways; and maybe make myself and mine a few delightful projects. I'm going to happily watch Sue and her Suesday Crochet blossom into her own Facebook page, and see where each of us ends up.Check out her page here:
 https://www.facebook.com/groups/268860520880279/

I am a Crip; I am surrounded by Craft, both internally and externally; and I am just so frigging tired of not letting go of my Type A personality traits. Once upon a time, there was a teenager who wanted nothing more than to be happy. I miss her. I think we need to have a cup of tea together!

                                                          Here's to Random, Happy Color!